The Family

[Izrail]

I used to be proud to be a Nex'Cruor, but now I am happy to be one as well. When everyone talks to each other it is an enjoyable family. For example since I stopped being angry at Skafloc I learned he masturbates all the time now.

Soon I want to have a "family dinner" and introduce Visant properly since I am going to be moving in with him. When that happens we will be as good as married, even if we have no written contract saying so. This family of mine is funny. There is nothing conventional or normal about any of it.

[Hellista]

((ROFL))

[Skafloc]

(( What the hell!! :confused: ))

[Malorii]

(( o_O.. *pokes skafloc* ))

[Mortica]

((damn, man, you're getting it left and right and still need to self-motivate? Lay off the viagra potions!))

[Skafloc]

(( He is "NOT" getting it left and right! He really isnt that promisucous.. sheehh! Sure, there have been and are a fair number that have shown interest in him for various reasons, but that doesnt mean he is boinking them all. ))

[Hellista]

(( He is "NOT" getting it left and right! He really isnt that promisucous.. sheehh! ))

((I can vouch for this....Skafloc's rep FAR outweighs his deeds. But this post is still making me cackle in real life))

[Leoren]

(( I call FIBS! ))

[Malorii]

(( hmm .. well there was this one time in the botanica ska knows what i'm talking about ^_~ ))

[Skafloc]

(( hmm .. well there was this one time in the botanica ska knows what i'm talking about ^_~ ))


(( He blushed because of the blood rune influence when he looked at Mal's face. Not because you were preserving your armor.. *groans.. * Damn it all! Curse you Fynne and your little warlock friend too! *shakes fist * ))

[Ninorra]

((All the time, huh? I wonder how he found out... *giggle*))

[Evanthe]

(( He is "NOT" getting it left and right! He really isnt that promisucous.. sheehh! Sure, there have been and are a fair number that have shown interest in him for various reasons, but that doesnt mean he is boinking them all. ))

[Good, because I don't think Eva can take all the people just showing interest in him. :p And this made me nearly spit water all over my keyboard when I first read it.]

[Ninorra]

[Good, because I don't think Eva can take all the people just showing interest in him. ]

((Then I guess I shouldn't mention that time in Zul'farrak... haha, I kid I kid!))

[Izrail]

((Despite his reputation, Skafloc's one of the most virtuous blood elves I have met on the server. He's just easy to tease. ^^))

[Malorii]

(( what blood rune o_O i'm lost so it wasn't becuse mal was running around all naked? wtf is a blood rune))

[Izrail]

We had a meeting tonight. Lovely called us together. Clys, Skafloc, Lovely, myself, Visant, and Evanthe were there. I hope we meet often. I also hope Evanthe is trustworthy. I want to trust her but I just do not know her well enough.

Lovely and Clys danced naked while taking pictures for a magazine and that was the first time I saw a woman completely naked. It was not exactly what I had seen in medical books. I might want to get a closer look someday just to satisfy my curiosity and know for sure that there is nothing about a woman's genitals that I might like.

[Lovely]

((Gah!!! With the genitals!!! LOL. And I was only naked for a minute! hehe))

[Malorii]

(( did you know most female have teeth in their naughty bits? There are doctors that have to remove the teeth, their called gynorhinoeruses. It's like a dentist cept it's for .. down there. ))

[Skafloc]

(( Wow, and here I thought when we called it a "snapper" in high school, we were just being silly.))

[Izrail]

An entry dated several days ago.

I met Lascivious for a trip into the Underbog with Lovely, Visant, and a troll from school named Schnitz. Lascivious is not talkative. I tried to grill her about her relationship with Lovely and did not get much. But she is not what I expected from the leader of The Grim. She is small and quiet and not threatening or arrogant at all. She is a good warrior and she acted sweet towards Lovely. I wonder how long it will last.

[Izrail]

If Evanthe was not family I would put her onto my list. She is only counted as family because of her ties to Skafloc but I do not dare strike against someone that Clys has accepted as family. Anyone who thinks insulting and humiliating me is funny should be fair game. But instead of getting back at her I need to get along with her. How can I do that when she has so little respect for me? How many other people think this way? I submit to Visant, so whenever I do something someone does not like they can just suggest I be physically punished? This is funny? This is a joke? I am still angry at her. That painting she gave me is not being hung up until I know if it is a joke or not.

If she cared about anything I could find out what it was and mock her for it but I doubt she cares about anything at all. Bitch. All right she cares about Skafloc. For all I know it is because he gets her off though.

Family is only as good as the loyalty the family members have for one another. Including Evanthe into our family was a mistake.

[Evanthe]

[ I love you, too Izrail. ;) ]

[Izrail]

This is what I think of the family that remains. I will not include people such as Morgauth and Danyxandra because no one has heard from them.

1. Clys. She is growing very quickly in power. She will pass me soon. That is fine. She should not be so weak. She is the Mistress of House Nex'Cruor. Some of the students at school seem to worship her which is good. She has lost some of her reputation but she will gain it back. I wish she was not a priest.
2. Skafloc. He practically does not exist. He is easily distracted by breasts and gets into trouble because of that a lot. He does his job of handling the family affairs well. He is attractive, very attractive. But he hardly exists anymore, I never see him and he never tells me anything.
3. Lovely. I am glad she came to us. I do not know what I would do without her. She is supportive and giving and warm. She handles herself well in a fight and she is an excellent healer. But she is not very bright and gets into trouble a lot. Any time I think I am doing poorly I compare myself to her and everything looks better. When it comes to circumstances I mean. She is still more loyal and balanced than I am. At least I do not get arrested.
4. Feleena. I like her better than her father but I have not seen her in weeks. She needs to learn Orcish. If she has a personality she has hid it from me.
5. Crysa. She was sweet and shy and set things on fire and for some reason I forgot about her.

That is the basic family. Then there are the extensions.

Evanthe. I cannot forgive her attitude towards me. I still like her better than Nymare though. She is a talented artist. But she is a bitch.
Visant. He used to warn me against associating with the Nex'Cruors. He is so paranoid. And he can be such a woman sometimes. He is always holding back. I can tell. It is not hard to make him angry but I can get away with almost anything. But if he disappeared I would die. I know I am immortal and that is impossible now. But if I lost him I would kill myself over and over. I love him and need him more than anything else. He is trying to fit in with the family, or at least he is trying to like them. Speaking of which I need to talk to him now.

[Hellista]

((ROFL I love your views on our characters. They are always so straightforward and not sugarcoated. You are the best, Izzy.))

[Visant]

((I laughed out loud. Iz off his meds is even more hilarious then normal. His ability to completely misunderstand things and blow them out of proportion continues to surprise me.))

[Izrail]

The lines on this section are thick and heavy. In parts the pen has torn through the paper.

I hate my memory. I hate it! I hate forgetting important things like what those symbols on Visant's arm mean and oh yeah I have an aunt. Why did I forget? Tabrys. I do not remember her except for Vironyal saying she wanted nothing to do with us. Why did I forget her? Even that memory is fuzzy. What does she look like? Did I ever meet her? I want to know but I have a headache and my ears are ringing. That silent ringing, not something coming from outside. She needs to die. I am so mad I could vomit. Why did I forget her? I need to find out where she is living and take care of her. Visant thinks I am lying to him. Maybe this is all because I used to be drunk or high or both all the time. My mind is fucked for good. I cannot stand this. I thought Lovely was pathetic. At least she had a reason for forgetting everyone. What is my reason? There are other things. That time I wrote "three" instead of "two." That time I was talking to Evanthe about Skafloc and she was being elusive and I was so sick of it so all of a sudden I forgot what I wanted to tell her, but did not tell her because she was playing the stupid "I do not trust you" game, the "you give me your information first game," so right when I got angry at her for it I just completely forgot what I had sensed from Skafloc at the funeral. I was not pretending to be ignorant. I remember being shocked at what she said even though afterwards I knew she had felt the same thing I did. But I did not remember, not until after she left. I have such a headache. Visant wants to paint and then sleep. I am going to go get drunk and burn things.

Tabrys Stillwater, you might join your nephew in hell for a while. Last known member my ass. If you were so important to the family why did I forget about you?

[Izrail]

The violently written lines continue on the next page.

I am not going to get drunk and burn things. That is what I would have done before. I am proving I am fine without that elixir. I am not going to over react or make people worry. I am tired of people asking if I am all right, if I am feeling better. There is no reason to panic. If I forgot it was because she was unimportant. I could tell anyone in my new family about her and they would do anything to her for me. I am not going to go get drunk. I am just going to take a dreamless sleep potion.

[Izrail]

Most of this page has been blotted out. The only phrases legible are "She disowned V and I only," "research 'dissociation'," and "Even when he is begging for mercy Vironyal is as annoying as ever. At least he can follow orders."

[Izrail]

I forgot to bring up "dissociation" with Lovely and Visant tonight. The irony is going to kill me.

I am tired and have a headache. I also feel sick. I am waiting for Visant to return, but I am going to start the wine before he gets here. We talked with Lovely tonight about memory and about Lovely's soul. I did a little test to see if she had one and she does. She did not think she had one because her human self left her body and is now in Atanasia. But she does have a soul. Visant was going to talk about his strange life but we did not have time. The conversation was informative but not helpful.

I am going to call another family meeting, to discuss Lovely's situation. I will not bring up my aunt. By the way, Visant found out where she lives and what she is up to. Who can I send to talk to her and get information about what, if anything, she wants from me?

Tomorrow I should write about: Not remembering Vironyal, Selthea and sacrifices, Lovely's problems with love, what we are going to do to Hellista, and I should write down more about Lovely's condition before I forget. Dammit this headache. Do not forget to look up "dissociation" and see why it was not blotted out with the rest of the stupid entry that Selthea might have made up to make me think I am crazy! Also do not forget to point out to Visant all the terrible things I do remember to prove his theory wrong. I know this is something else.

[Izrail]

CRYSA. Damn it all! She used to set things on fire. I am going to add her to the list of Nex'Cruors. I am so disgusted at myself I could scream.

[Crysa]

((*wink*))

[Izrail]

I was supposed to call the family together but I cannot find the motivation to do so. The longer I go without talking to them the less I want to start communication again. I can hardly get out of the house anyway, even for school. I miss my elixirs. At least I can still take the dreamless sleep ones. To keep nightmares away. It was like this at the rehabilitation center last year, but last year it was worse because they were much more strict than Visant. Not that he is keeping me here against my will. It was also worse because except for my stupid roommate and my "secret" visitors I was alone and no matter how much I wrote to my brother he never wrote back. What do I care if the demons kill him. What do I care if I never remember anything important again. What do I care if Lovely and her other self wage war on each other for the rest of eternity. What do I care if the Nex'Cruors go on without me. Of all the "family" I am the most insignificant and worthless member.

I spend all my time doing meaningless stupid things. But I have no energy to do anything important. I hate myself for doing nothing but wallow, wallow, wallow. Someone put me out of my misery. Why did I want to be immortal anyway? Clys said if I was chopped into pieces and scattered that it could take a while but eventually my body parts would find each other and reassemble. Maybe if that happened I would turn out better somehow. I wonder if anyone would even miss me. They might say they would but I do not think I have done anything important enough to deserve to k

The downstroke on the "k" turns into a sprawling squiggle that winds aimlessly around the rest of the page.

[Izrail]

Written in sloppy handwriting.


Everything is all right now. I have goggles.

[Izrail]

Sloppy handwriting, continued.

Once this week is over then I will call a family meeting. I do not trust myself to be cogerent enough to lead a family meeting right now. I have done nothing but drink and piss lately. Because of Kinwheely. This will fix Erastes so that is fine. I do not think I have ever gone this long without being sober. I am reasonably enough so perhaps a meeting is fine in this state I am in. Oh what the fuck. Let one of them call a meeting. I am going to be drunk for a week and then Erastes will stop drooling. I wonder if they got her a bib. I am going to sugggest that next time I see someone who knows Erostes.

I meant what I wrote about the [scribble] gogges. They are going to change everything.

[Izrail]

The sloppy handwriting continues.

For all I ever said bad things about him my heart is breaking because of what he said and I feel like such an idiot for it. Nymare and Leoren are talking about something upstairs. What the fuck is a soul tether? Anyway. Not even my goggles can change this or help me. I wish I knew where Visant was. All that cuddling Clys and her wife did made me lonely. I hugged Diomades for fuck's sake. He is going to help me though. If he breaks his promise I am going to hang him but I do not think he will.

Abstract doodles cover the rest of the page.

[Izrail]

Written shakily.

I was looking for someone to talk to but only found Hellista. I think I did some stupid things. But now that I am sober I understand my "brother's" problem. I think I will have to tell everyone everything. Not everything. Some things are better forgotten. I need to write this down. When it comes to important things the forgetting is on purpose. Do not try to push it and stop looking for a cure.

A'dal assures me everything will be fine. I wonder if it is capable of lying or if it is just foolishly optimistic.