Revan-spear

[Itakae]

I lost my old book, but luckily I found this new one at a shop in Booty Bay. It's a shame, I always liked reading back, but oh well.

I've been sick for a while, apparently. I guess this thing is not going to just leave me alone. Damn curse. I think I need to visit Primal Torntusk, maybe she will know something I can do to get rid of it. I miss Revantusk village, I do not think I've been there for weeks.

*scribbles of troll huts*

I saw Hal the other day for a while, he's been really busy lately I think, I haven't really seen him much. I can't say I really mind though, we've all got matters of our own to tend to.

Anyway, you'd better not get lost, my new book.

[Itakae]

I went into Stratholme the other night with Xenaken, Nymare, and Leoren; that place sure is creepy. So much death and unrest, it just tears the heart to bits. Those poor people.

I also met Leoren for the first time, I don't think he liked me very much. In fact, I don't think Nymare likes me very much either. I can't say I really blame them though. At least they trusted me enough to heal them while we were in that dammed place.

I need to go back into Scholomance again soon as well, there are tasks I still need to finish there. Poor, poor people...

[Leoren]

(( Despite Leo's IC hang ups, I SO <3 YOUR SHAMAN HEALZ. ))

Edit:

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s27/Hshafruddin/WoWScrnShot_092307_174523.jpg

[Itakae]

((XD I know you do! "COME ON GUYS I HAVE SHAMAN HEALS!!!!!" *pulls a million mobs* *dies*

!!!!! YAY screenshot!!!!))

[Leoren]

((XD I know you do! "COME ON GUYS I HAVE SHAMAN HEALS!!!!!" *pulls a million mobs* *dies*))

(( Hey! That happened like once! ... Or twice. C'mon though, you can't tell me it wasn't fun! <3 The Windfury totem too, that was just icing on the cake. *Dashes out of OOC commentary* ))

[Itakae]

((XD))


I feel like I've been missing a lot lately, I can't explain why.

I think I'll keep an eye out for Xenaken tonight, It's been a week since I've seen him. That's far too long.

[Itakae]

It's been almost a month since we were last together, I can't wait any longer.

Goodbye.


*tear stains dot the bottom of this page*

[Itakae]

Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel like the walls are going to close in on me.

I need to get out of Silvermoon.

Thalassi says I'm not fit to travel, and that she'd like to keep me here for a while longer, but I can't stand it here anymore. I just want to go home, the Hinterlands. I don't care what's wrong with me, I can't stay here any longer. I'm going. I'm going to fix myself my way.

[Itakae]

I've been terribly lonely lately, I can't really explain why. I miss Haldren so much, but I doubt I will see him again. It has been so long, and I've heard nothing from him. I suppose I should just let go, like I told myself I would, but it feels wrong. I want to wait, but I can't. Time is something I can't affort to waste. I will have to move on, but I will wait a few days longer. Maybe. Maybe, I will hear something, though I doubt it.

[Itakae]

*sketches of an troll couple cover the page, the faces are blank*

"Keep movin, li'l Taka. If joo slow down, da worl' gonna crush joo."

[Itakae]

http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs21/f/2007/280/9/7/Ita_and_Ina_sketch_by_YoonSoSweet.png

I found this going through some of my old papers in the bank. If I remember correctly, the midwife who cared for me when Inarnei was born, she drew this. Oh, I was so young then. It was what... five or six years ago? I do not even remember, but oh Loa do I miss my child. I would give anything to see her again.

[Itakae]

Hallow's end will soon be upon us, and that means that the day of my birth is coming soon as well. I feel embarassed to even write this, but I am not even sure how old I am going to be. I think somewhere between nineteen or twenty-one? I suppose it really isn't all that important. All I know is that this time of year makes me thoughtful. It is the time of my birth, and also a time when I try to remember what I can of my parents. I wish I remembered more of them. I am not sure though, if I want to remember some things. To remember more would be to remember... No. I won't write it. Now is not the time to think of these things.

Soon. Soon Hallow's End will be here.

[Itakae]

I am a healer. A healer of the horde. It is about time I remembered that. I am home now, here to stay. I will heal, I will suffer, I will toil, for the Horde.

[Itakae]

My friends,

The time has come for me to say Goodbye. I have been sick for some time, and because of this, I have not been in your halls, but in Silvermoon, amongst the horde. I have come to understand that this is where I must be, here, in the horde. I can no longer disguise myself as I once did, So it would probably be best if I did not return to Stormwind, or Ironforge.

Know this, I do not intend to forget you, my friends. Nor will I ever seek to harm you, but I must heed the calling of the horde. I must use my power of healing for my brothers and sisters here. Duty, that is what calls me away. My duty to my people, my desire to make a better world for my daughter to grow up in, if I ever see her again.

I will not forget you, I will not abandon you. But for now, I must resume my place as Scout Itakae of the Darkspear and Revantusk. I must take the place I am meant to take.

Your friend in war and peace,

Scout Itakae, Darkspear Shamaness and Healer of the Horde Armies

That is the letter I sent to Sacred Fire. I will miss them, they will always be my friends, even if I cannot fight side by side with them. May the spirits guide them, in all that they do.

[Itakae]

I'm a little tired, but loa am I excited! I know that I did not do much, but the little I could do helped to some extent, I suppose. I aided in healing a party of raiders inside Gruul's Lair. That terrible orge Maulgar fell, I feel so honoured to have been allowed such an experience.

[Itakae]

Finally, I have the Master's Key in my hands. I hope I will be able to entre Karazahn soon.

[Itakae]

I promise, little book, I promise I will become a better soldier. I will not break the new trust I have gained. I will prove myself as a worthy member of the Horde. I will.

[Itakae]

Xenaken and I went into Scholomance once more last night, that place gives me terrible shivers every time I enter it. Those poor people though... it is worth it to help their spirits rest. I hate that place though, I hate it.

Hallows End is here, finally. That means my birth-time is here as well.

[Itakae]

I just love hallow's end. This celebration makes me smile, freedom. Beautiful.

I have been working to redeem myself, though not hard enough. I should be on the battlefield right now instead of even writing here! I swear though, I will redeem myself, I will. I will prove myself to the horde.

[Itakae]

My head is sore, it's difficult to sleep when nightmares tear your dreams.

[Itakae]

*tear stains dot the page*

I miss him so much. I try to get these things out of my head, I try to forget the sight of his desicrated grave. I cannot. It hurts. I miss him, I miss him so much.

[Itakae]

I woke up this morning and things seemed off somehow. I guess it has been a couple of weeks since I was last awake. I feel helpless, I'm always sick, sleeping. I want this to go away. I don't want to be this way.

Wake up, WAKE UP.

My mind doesn't listen to me. Loa help me if I ever consider using voodoo ever, ever again.

[Itakae]

I wonder if Haldren is still alive?

I wonder if he loves me like he did before I stopped hearing from him.

I wonder.

[Itakae]

Despair

When I care about someone, they disappear.

I want to disappear too.

[Itakae]

If I were to fade away, no one would even notice.

Maybe every dying woman thinks these things, I don't know. I just wish I could see my child one last time.

[Itakae]

Thalassi says she wants to see me, that she might be able to cure me. I don't want to see her, I want this to end, I don't believe she can help me.

[Itakae]

I heard Nym and Salaman talking over my bed last night, but I couldn't really hear what they were saying. I wonder what my protectors are up to? It isn't often that water and fire interact so calmly.

I wonder...

[Itakae]

He's back. I've never been so happy and nervous all at once.

[Itakae]

13 vials, she said. Use one every month, if you can, ever other month. 13 Vials of the blood of life.

[Itakae]

It has been a few days, and I miss him. I can't help but wonder, does he miss me too? I feel so silly, I thought I was over this, through with him, but he's back. He's here again, and I think I still love him.

[Itakae]

I know I don't have to help you, but I want to.

Those words are the kindest I have heard in a long time. I wanted to write them here so I do not forget.

I feel guilty now, for being a medic. I hate playing a part in something that means nothing to me. Meaningless fighting, meaningless killing, meaningless death. I am just as guilty as the murderers, I keep the murderers alive, I heal them. I care for them, I tend to their wounds, I am guilty. I don't think I should be feeling this way, it seems wrong.

Despite these feeling of guilt, I must atone for my aparent sins of the past. If nothing else, I must at least make it seem as though I am making an effort. A fake front is better than being marked an eternal traitor, for now anyway. No one lives that way forever, but I cannot live and be shunned forever.

Praise the Loa Zandali isn't a widely understood language.

[Itakae]

I realised today that my Darnassian isn't as bad as I though it was, oh the things we remember from childhood...

[Itakae]

Darnassian's a pretty language.

I'm glad Hal doesn't understand it though!

[Itakae]

What's wrong with being escourted to Ironforge by Aizer? We were just taking a walk. Too bad the guards got mad every time they spotted him

[Malorii]

(( AHAHAH!!! .. I can see that too! " why are the guards hitting me can't they see i'm a priest! I'm aizer damn it! ))

[Itakae]

(( el oh el exactly!!!))

[Itakae]

I've got to learn to keep my mouth shut.

But a good fight certainly does feel nice.

[Itakae]

I haven't had nightmares the past few nights, and I'm not scared anymore. I think I might be happy, really happy. And you know what journal? I had a dream last night, and I saw my little girl. She's happy, and healthy. My child is safe. I want noting more, this is all I need to know. She is safe.

I'm getting better at this warrior thing, and I've got to say, it's a nice change from being a healer. I just hope some day I'll be strong enough to protect the ones I love.

[Itakae]

There's a place that's grey, where you can never do anything right. That place is worse than death.

As always, trouble is coming.

At least things won't be boring.

[Itakae]

I'm getting worried, very worried. The things that happened yesterday, I can't forget them. I can try to tell myself that I'm neutral, I can try all I want. How can I be though? I can't stand by and let my friends get hurt. I won't sacrifice Xenaken, or anyone. What can I do, journal?

[Itakae]

Zen'ijin

Zen'ijin

Zen'ijin

Zen'ijin

I've strayed from your warmth, my love. Hold me in your arms of shadow once again. I need you, my love, my Mate.

I am yours, even in death as in life. I am Taka of the Revantusk tribe, I will destroy the Wilhammer.

I will fight. I will.. I will kill if I must. But I will not die. No, no I will not die like this.

Vengence.

When vengence is served, I will have my peace.

I am Itakae of the Darkspear, I am my own.


Rumours... Rumours.. that's all they are.

"He never left the Hinterlands, Little Taka, he died right here, right here, girl, here in our pure Hinterlands."

[Itakae]

Left or Right?

Left or Right?

Old or New?

This is terrible... what do I do?

[Itakae]

Imogan's certainly gotten stronger in the ways of the spirits. I wonder where my Sevi got off to, I haven't seen her in months...

[Itakae]

*page torn from another journal and pasted roughly on this page*
eaving tomorrow. Taka, if you find this, don't worry. You'll be fine, and I'll be home soon. Don't get too excited, it's not good for the baby. Rest, little Taka. Soon, we will be a family, you, the baby, and me. As soon as I get home.
I swear, if that wildhammer scum so much as touches her.. I'll have thei

[Itakae]

Area 52 held a surprise for me today. Gradhardt, I hadn't seen him in a while. Sadly it seems my common has suffered lately, I couldn't find the words I needed. I wanted to ask him to speak to Haldren, in spite of myself, I wanted him to tell Haldren I was sorry, and that I missed him. But I couldn't, I didn't. And I won't. I can't.

Later in the day I returned to the hinterlands. All the Wildhammer blood in the world won't bring my Zen'ijin back, but Loa help me if I don't make a worthy sacrifice of them.

[Itakae]

Lunar Festival is so beautiful. I don't understand the druids, or their ways, but I do love their Holiday. With so much pain, it's wonderful to see some beauty in the world. That.. that and Moonglow is great! I love my new dress too, I just wish I had a reason to wear it. Xenaken and I rode around the Eastern Kingdoms in search of Elders on the first day of the Celebration, it was so much fun! I just love holidays!

Tensions seem to be rising again, I wonder what will happen next?

I'm really proud of Imogan, she's getting so strong. I can't wait until she's strong enough that we can fight side by side. That will be a great day indeed!

[Itakae]

I HATE the Draenei. The nerve, to come into my HOME, kill MY PEOPLE. The whole lot of them will suffer for the deeds to that mislead, false shaman. The night elves will feel my wrath as well, attacking my home... I think not. I will destroy them. I will kill them all. The time for mercy is over, very much over.

[Itakae]

I hate them all. I HATE THEM. Never again will I show mercy, NEVER AGAIN! The destroyed it all, there were bodies everywhere... My people, Imogan's people. They hurt her too, they hurt Imogan. She's just a little one, she doesn't deserve it. She's just a little one, but she's so brave. She tried to fight, we all tried to fight.

It makes me sick. It makes me sick that there are so few people in the world who care about that place, who care about the Revantusk. They are good people, better than many Darkspear. Better than a lot of people. The don't deserve to die. The help the Horde, but the Horde won't lend them a hand in their time of need. A hunter, a Priestess, and an unknown warrior. Those were the only ones who came. No more.

I will never again have mercy on the Alliance, never again. I don't care who they are, they are all to blame for this suffering.

I couldn't even protect Imogan.

[Itakae]

Xenaken came to the Village that night after the attacks, he came to pay his respects to the dead. So many dead... It is so good to have a friend who will care enough to pay respect to people who are not his own. He even helped me plant a flower on Zen'ijin's grave.

[Itakae]

Change is coming.

[Itakae]

This is my last page in this book, I guess it's time to find a new one.

Wow, things have changed since I got this book.. Looking back on the entries in the beginning make me smile. Things are so different now. I am diferent. I am happy! I know who I am, and who I want to be. I want to be Itakae, I want to be a shaman. I want to protect those I love, I want to fight for my home. I can now wear a banner with pride, I can smile and shout praises of the Cross from the highest hight of the Hinterlands.

Lok'tar!

I want to practice my orcish more, my accent is so heavy.. I bet I can make it not so bad if I try more. It's hard though... Eh, maybe it's worth it, I Don't know.

Lok'tar Ogar!