Thoughts of a Grunt

[Skallagar]

Throm'ka. I am Yusegar, known around the Barrens as the Wolf. Why I am called such is a tale for another time. I write now to because meditation has left me thought with which I wish to voice...but there are none I will voice them to. Today, my thoughts dwell on Life...and Death.

For a long time now I have resolved that I would gladly give my life to save that of anothers. This is not because I seek death. I could have slain myself easily many times now, to make it look like an accident would have been no great challenge. But I find I feel that the others life must be so much righer, so much more enjoyable, that I do not feel I would hesitate to surrender mine for theirs. Perhaps I am crazy. However, I have seen muh death in the passing years. I have seen friends go out in a blaze of glory, and yet their dunatural death is considered most tragic. I have seen elders die, living out their last years hardly moving, in fact some are bound to prevent them from doing further harm to themselves. In my mind, that is the true tradgedy. To leave life humbled, a shade of your former self, serving no purpose but to be cared for my the young. It is a humiliation to degrade to such a state. Better to leave the world knowing your death has meant something, knowing that you have died for a purpose. Better to live in a fiery blaze of passion than to sit, and wait for something exciting to happen. Better to spend your time on this doomed world living your life to the fullest, and and ending it well than to spend it 'killing time' and let death slowly drag you underground over years.

I am Yusegar. I live each as if it were my last. And since I get the most I can out of my Life...I will not shrink away in the face of Death.

[Skallagar]

It has been a while since I have written. If you begrudge this of me, I challenge you to attend Brewfest.

Recently, I have taken some advicee from a female elf. Drinn, I think her name is. I have 'cut loose' and tried to enjoy myself more rather than exercise and train for the majority of the day.

It has had bittersweet effects. Thanks to it I have had many good times at Brewfest, and met many people who's company I enjoy greatly, be it in battle or leisure. I have also discovered a love of Ram Racing.

Unfortunetely, this has led me to realize that I am not nearly as strong as I need to be. When some alliance cowards attacked the Crossroads in the middle of the night, I was barely more than an annoyance to them. I did everything i could, but at best I could slow the enemy down. Two friends, Lovely and Leoren, praised my efforts, however they cannot seriously think I did anything worthwhile. I am even more dishonored in that I survived the attack. Even a dog can find the courage to die in battle!

And so it becomes clear: I must train harder. I will partake in the holidays, of course. Not doing such would dishonor the Anscestors. I would also like to know my new friend better, for it was not until I met them that I realized that I was lonely. But all the same, I will exercise, and I will train, harder than before.

And this is where I am troubled. Where do I draw the line for time I should spend on enjoying myself and training? It is far to easy to fall into a life of lesure. But it is also easy to shut out enjoying oneself and to lead a joyless existence. How does one find a happy medium?

I must find the answer.

[Skallagar]

Things have been interesting. I have been enjoying myself more and more, in the tavern, running into others, gatherings. I look around at my fellow Horde, however, and am saddened to realize that many of they are eluded by happiness. I am perfectly content. I live every moment to its fullest. I act as a child, some may say, but I still do what I see as right. So what if I scorn 'formality' and what some may see as politeness? There is far too little time on this world to worry about such things. Others use the excuse of lost reletives to be sad. Do they really think their lost love ones would want them to be depressed? No! I have lost many. But for weeks ago, it could be said that I had not a single friend. True, I have none who are very close to me now, but I am still content. I will continue to make more friends, and perhaps get closer to those I already have. Who knows, perhap I will meet an Orc woman, though they seem to be rare. Or I may fall in battle tomorrow. It does not matter. Then I will rejoin my Anscestors.

There is one who entertains me, seeming to follow a similar path. She seems to always be getting into trouble through this. I have decided to watch over her. She has a spark of life in her, and I would hate to see it extinguished.